Breaking Patterns

You keep repeating yourself. Even though you know it can be done differently.

You've already seen it, you know what's happening, and yet you do it again. You say yes when you want to say no. You conform. Or you stay in situations that actually drain you.

You know it won't get you anywhere, but you can't manage to really change it. As if something in you is stronger than your own choice.

Why you keep falling back (even if you understand it)

Your system holds patterns that, in essence, determine how situations unfold. In behavior, how you react to stress, and where you seek security. These patterns are partly derived from your life plan and life lessons, but they also arise from:

energy in your system, such as guilt, shame, fear, and tension
how you had to deal with situations (coping mechanism)
what you have taken on, such as beliefs and expectations you have come to meet, and roles you have come to fulfill

What happens when it really counts?

Many people try to break patterns through their behavior. That can work, but only if your energy is strong enough to continuously overcome resistance.

In practice, things often turn out differently. You resolve to do things differently, and in the moment, you’ll probably succeed.

But as soon as something triggers a response within you—for example, regarding your sense of purpose, security, or self-worth—a deeper layer takes over.

Then you’re no longer reacting based on what you know, but based on something stronger. Then you’ll start to adapt, seek validation, and try to gain control.

Or, on the other hand, clinging to what you know. What was once necessary to keep you afloat has become your foundation. From that foundation, you continue to make choices that maintain that same structure. Because it feels familiar and safe, even when it holds you back.

Do you keep falling back into old habits, even though you know there's another way?

Then it's not just about what you understand, but about what takes hold of you at that moment.

Why you can't keep it up

Patterns are hard to break. Your willpower is often not strong enough to bring about a complete reprogramming of the entire system.

If there are blockages, for example due to guilt, shame, or fear, they hinder your strength and suppress your willpower. As a result, you are unable to resist for a long time and relapse into old habits, you become too indulgent, and you adapt again.

Sometimes it's already happened before you realized it. This is because you often have a blind spot when it comes to your own life lessons. You can see it clearly in others, but it's difficult to break through when it comes to yourself.

Will this keep happening?

Then there's something that keeps driving you, even when you see through it. To truly break a pattern, something has to change there.

Does most of it come from the family?

Then you often have to deal with:

energy that lives in the family and is passed down from generation to generation
family karma that keeps repeating
Roles and Dynamics in the Family System

Those dynamics carry over into your system, even if they aren't your own.

I want to let go of what is not mine.

Do patterns reappear in multiple areas of your life?

In how you view yourself, your relationships, your work, or your choices. This requires not only insight, but also a change in your system and a strengthening of your own energy.

In the Personal and Spiritual Leadership program, that is exactly what we focus on:

Transforming the underlying life lessons, thereby changing their impact.
Reprogramming beliefs that hinder or block you, and energies that suppress your own power.

Would you like to first understand the life lesson behind this?

Some patterns are linked to a recurring life lesson. This lesson can manifest in various ways in your life. Do you want insight into your life plan, your life lessons, and how they play out? If so, astrology can help you bring that into focus. But insight alone won’t change the patterns that keep recurring.

I want to understand the lessons I've learned in life

Are you performing a trick, or do you understand the art of living?
Everything works in cycles, don't confuse this with circles. The difference lies in whether you're going in circles or realizing that your life path is a spiral.

Once you understand that, the next time you encounter the same life lessons, you can look at them from a distance so you can overview the situation and deal with it.

Are you able to make a life lesson a part of yourself? Then it becomes easy to fulfill your needs in life.